You probably stumbled onto this site because you’re trying to figure out how to do this ‘money thing’. Don’t feel bad…you’re not alone.

We’re going to give you a little tip for today…one that you can use every day for the rest of your life. It’s a very simple money habit that every financially free person on the face of the planet uses…I call it the, “but what about…?” question and this is how it works.

There you are in a store…doesn’t matter which one…and you spy something you think you just have to have. For whatever reason, the thing is screaming at you, “BUY ME, BUY ME, BUY ME!”

You know you shouldn’t, you know you don’t have the money, you KNOW you really don’t need it. But what do you do? You feel weak in that moment and you cave into the voice (in your head) and you buy it, often feeling guilty afterward.

Next time this happens, simply stop and ask yourself this question:

“But what about MY future? Who’s saving money for ME?”

The one and only correct answer to this question is, “I AM!”

The Why

You see, we only make the right decisions for us concerning our goals when our WHY is big enough and it’s only through asking the right questions that we remind ourselves of that big why.

Asking yourself a good quality, “But what about….?” question often puts things in perspective and helps you make the best right next choice for you.

Go ahead, try it…

Letting Life Flow Through You

Eckhart Tolle, one of my favorite buddhas, reminds us that there are no PROBLEMS… only SITUATIONS.

We humans are so attuned to “what’s wrong” and “what needs to be fixed” that we forget we can choose a different perspective. Easy to see a lack of money as a problem. Easy to see a flat tire as a problem. Easy to see a plummeting economy as a problem.

But when we reframe  the “problem” into a “situation”, right action is called in naturally and we’re back in the natural flow of life.

What financial “problem” can you change into a “situation” today? And what action is being called for?

Let me know!

Do it for Love!

More often than not, our money situation dictates how much space we have for love.

Ever notice that, when you have enough money in the bank and all your bills are paid, you are happy and available for connection? On the flip side, when we have unmet financial obligations, we are likely to feel tight, uneasy, irritated, distracted ~ trapped in a very small world. When the walls start closing in, we have little time or attention for anything outside that which we absolutely need. We are in survival mode. Fight or flight.

I’m here to tell you ~ by facing your finances and taking care of your bottom line, you’ll have more space for love in your life. Guaranteed.

Free Fall from Shame

Most of us have wounds (unresolved feelings, situations, issues) from our past that rise up within us at one time or another, usually without warning. Whether we allow them to actually surface and move through us is a choice that can require a certain amount of courage.

When Pain comes knocking at our door (the door to freedom, to peace, love, expression ~ you name it), it’s Surrender that eventually opens it. Surrender, however, is not always available.

It’s that metaphor of hanging on to the edge of a cliff and figuring out how to let go. It’s holding the burning coal in your hand and figuring out how to drop it. We hang on for dear life (or the life of our Ego as it were) or hold on to that coal as if it’s keeping us alive. Try as we might to figure out HOW to let go, it seems impossible. We might think “if I could just figure out how to surrender, I would”.

When surrender does not seem possible or even fathomable, I look, instead, to see what might be standing in its way. Shame is often the culprit.

Many of the situations that create pain (or internal struggle) in my life are held intact because I am too ashamed to admit something. I judge myself as selfish or small and fear that others will judge me in the same way so I keep it to myself. To open my mouth and possibly bring in hard-to-be-with feelings feels as impossible as holding a burning coal in my hand. Or maybe it IS the burning coal.

What I know is that, when I admit something that I am ashamed of, regardless of the reaction it may engender in another, I am magically released from its grip. I am in a position to move forward, to step from the place I am, to be in a NEW place ~ even if I am then needing to face a reaction or be with a new set of circumstances. I find that I am no longer experiencing the sensation of holding on for dear life, no longer feeling the burning in my hand (in my heart).  The circumstances that called in the pain from so long ago has now changed and I am living in possibility once again.

Just as gravity holds our bodies together, holds this PLANET together, Shame holds my activating circumstances together ~ actually fuels them into living on longer than they actually existed. Shame is the gravity!

The amazing part of this: moving past the shame IS the surrender. It’s the movement that opens up my heart and lets the feelings move through me instead of sticking. It doesn’t matter what the shame has to do with ~ money, love, sex, parenting ~ the admission alone puts me back into reality. No longer am I hanging from the cliff. I’m free-falling. And with it comes  relief and renewal and, sometimes, even a re-patterning of an old way of being.

You might say I’m Defying Gravity!

How do you calculate abundance?

Treat others as you would have them treat you.

Give that which you would like to receive.

Receive that which you have already given.

Return that which you have not earned.

Refuse that which is given if you have not done enough to deserve it.

Commandments from the Bible of Debt Consciousness. A little slippery, don’t you think?

If I GET REAL with how I’m showing up these days, I have to admit that I keep tabs on my life ~ I make sure that I don’t take more than I give. Exhausting? You bet. A barrier to receiving money? Uh-huh. And you know why? Because the energy I generate in one area of my life infiltrates every other part of my life.

Example: My husband offers to massage my shoulders. I say “Oh, no, that’s okay… I’ll be fine” because I haven’t been very nice lately OR because I don’t have the energy to reciprocate. Seems reasonable to me. Just making sure that I’m living in balance.

Not so. I THINK I’m equalizing the giving and receiving, but what I’m really doing is shutting the whole process down entirely. I end up living in a tit-for-tat world where I allow things (love, attention, gifts, and MONEY) into my life by MY arbitrary choice, dictated by whatever ideas I have about self worth and deserved-ness. How limiting and controlling! Audacious, really!

The same energy that has me deny my husband’s offer impacts every other offer that comes in. Based upon my limited view, I allow only that which I can give back or reciprocate. That leaves me with a zero balance. Equal ~ to NOTHING. How can I ever have more? More love, more fun, more money?

Abundance has no end, has no limits, and can’t be measured on a scale. Keeping tabs might work in the restaurant business but it no place in MY business.

Time to stop the tally. Care to join me?

Any time you feel good about money, you feel good about the rest of your life too! Don’t even TRY to argue out of this one. And don’t take my word for it, either, just look at your own situation.

Here’s the thing: when we ignore, avoid, hide, or pretend when it comes to money, we are walking around IN THAT ENERGY no matter how small the integrity infraction may be. It seeps into other aspects of our lives and takes away from the WHOLE of who we are. Fine if you don’t mind being only partially available for fun, opportunity, and connection. But I want more for myself AND for you!

This is why I tell my clients to start their days by looking in the mirror AND at their bank accounts. It’s a metaphorical structure to make sure you’re ALL THERE before starting your day. Brush your hair, pinch your cheeks, and take care of one thing that will have you feel good about your money.

Make that charitable contribution, put $10 in your “play” account, choose not to buy your super-sized chai latte this morning, pack a lunch, have that conversation with your husband, research something you’ve been wondering about… it doesn’t take a big transformation to make a difference. It’s really about taking one little step!

When you’ve given yourself the gift of looking in the financial mirror, you give the world the gift of your presence. You show up available for YOUR life and all that’s possible. What else are you here for? And what are you waiting for?

Wait ~ don’t answer that… just look in the mirror AND at your bank account. Now, do that one thing you can do today. Just that one. And let me know how you feel!

Money is one of those things in life that you can actually take at face value. You can trust it to be exactly what it says it is ~ every single time! There is no gray area, no pretending, no illusion. It is what it is.

A dollar is a dollar no matter the circumstance or emotional state you’re in. If you have $150 in your wallet, THAT is how much you can spend. You can’t squeeze another dollar out of a twenty. You can’t wish a dime into becoming a quarter. Money shows up for you exactly as-is every time.

The only problem with money is US. Many of us enter into money relationships with mistrust, misunderstanding, and fear. We attach unproductive thoughts, feelings, and perspectives onto money. “I hate money.” “I don’t have enough money.” “I can’t figure out money.” “I can’t keep track of money.” “Money makes me crazy.”

Money is just money. It doesn’t DO anything or BE any certain way. How exciting! We don’t have to guess, hope, interpret or wonder about money. Money is something we actually have influence over. We can manipulate it, move it around, give it away ~ anything we want. And it still shows up as money.

I, personally, spent too many years believing that I couldn’t understand money; money was a problem I would never solve. But when I started to see money for what it is instead of what it isn’t, I started to feel my feet on the ground for the first time. I stopped wishing that money would somehow change and I started to change myself instead.Walking up a mountain is a lot easier when you feel the earth under your feet!

Money is solid. It’s real. You can count on it. Only every time.

Appreciation.

Walking on the beach with one of my girlfriends this morning, we talked about one of the most human of conditions ~ postponing happiness for “that day” when…

…I have the right job. When I make enough money. When I live where I want. When I meet the right person. When my kids are grown. Blah, blah, blah.

What about right now? What about today? We can spend so much time thinking about all the things we need to be, do, fix, or accumulate that we can’t see where we are.

Getting Real with Your Finances helps you appreciate the here and now. Has you focus on what you have, not what you don’t. Gives you a piece of solid ground to stand on AND step from. Every time you acknowledge where you are, you get a glimpse of where you can go.

Right Now is really all we have. Yes, we can plan for the future ~ but not at the expense of enjoying the day we’re in.

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow never comes. Someday is now.

Getting Real gets you HERE!

And when you’re here, you’ll be happy.

Don’t take my word for it. Try it for yourself.

“Getting Real With Your Money” often requires a daily integrity practice. It’s so easy ~ and not uncommon ~ to reward yourself “just a little” for being such a good girl with your money! I call this “The Fudge Factor”. You “fudge” just a little thinking it won’t make a big difference and, really, who’s gonna know?

A Little Liquid Fudge Anyone?

Sometimes, after days of conscious spending and taking care of my financial affairs with attention and conviction, I deem myself worthy of a gift. This morning it was a latte. My rationale: I’ve been SO responsible lately that spending a little money on myself is deserved and won’t break the bank.

Early in the “Get Real” program, these so-called rewards (or pieces of fudge) can easily lead us back into familiar patterns of unconscious spending, feeling ashamed, and avoiding the issue ~ sending us right back into the territory of “hoping it will all work out”.

Integrity is about keeping your word. And in matters of our money, it’s all about keeping your word with yourself. Money has only everything to do with YOU and it’s YOU you have to answer to.

For me, it’s a slippery slope. This morning’s latte isn’t that big of a deal but I notice that I’ve been thinking about it. A lot. Why? Because I have an agreement with myself to limit “fudge” from my spending in order to pay off just a little more of my credit card bill. Spending $2.75 on a delicious drink leaves me with $2.75 less to pay down my balance. One piece of fudge won’t likely break the bank but, if it sets me off on a pattern of spending, it just might break my spirit.

This is not about being worthy or deserving of something. By “Getting Real With Money” I am no longer internally codependent. I am a grown woman who makes choices based on what I want in my financial life ~ no more, no less. No emotional baggage or undercurrent, just another choice to restore my self integrity.

To fudge or not to fudge?

What’s your fudge factor?