Do it for Love!

More often than not, our money situation dictates how much space we have for love.

Ever notice that, when you have enough money in the bank and all your bills are paid, you are happy and available for connection? On the flip side, when we have unmet financial obligations, we are likely to feel tight, uneasy, irritated, distracted ~ trapped in a very small world. When the walls start closing in, we have little time or attention for anything outside that which we absolutely need. We are in survival mode. Fight or flight.

I’m here to tell you ~ by facing your finances and taking care of your bottom line, you’ll have more space for love in your life. Guaranteed.

How do you calculate abundance?

Treat others as you would have them treat you.

Give that which you would like to receive.

Receive that which you have already given.

Return that which you have not earned.

Refuse that which is given if you have not done enough to deserve it.

Commandments from the Bible of Debt Consciousness. A little slippery, don’t you think?

If I GET REAL with how I’m showing up these days, I have to admit that I keep tabs on my life ~ I make sure that I don’t take more than I give. Exhausting? You bet. A barrier to receiving money? Uh-huh. And you know why? Because the energy I generate in one area of my life infiltrates every other part of my life.

Example: My husband offers to massage my shoulders. I say “Oh, no, that’s okay… I’ll be fine” because I haven’t been very nice lately OR because I don’t have the energy to reciprocate. Seems reasonable to me. Just making sure that I’m living in balance.

Not so. I THINK I’m equalizing the giving and receiving, but what I’m really doing is shutting the whole process down entirely. I end up living in a tit-for-tat world where I allow things (love, attention, gifts, and MONEY) into my life by MY arbitrary choice, dictated by whatever ideas I have about self worth and deserved-ness. How limiting and controlling! Audacious, really!

The same energy that has me deny my husband’s offer impacts every other offer that comes in. Based upon my limited view, I allow only that which I can give back or reciprocate. That leaves me with a zero balance. Equal ~ to NOTHING. How can I ever have more? More love, more fun, more money?

Abundance has no end, has no limits, and can’t be measured on a scale. Keeping tabs might work in the restaurant business but it no place in MY business.

Time to stop the tally. Care to join me?

I thought I was seen as pretty easy going until one of my friends called me Miss Resistance Pants. It would have been funny if it weren’t so true. Have you ever thought you were hiding a part of yourself from people and then found out everyone was seeing you that way all along? Cringe.

But it turned out to be an aha moment. I realized that I resist most everything. In fact, resistance was like a natural state of being. I almost didn’t know any different. Resistance had me constantly looking for what wasn’t working. And it was showing up as edgy, confrontive, negative, controlling. Yuck.

It was pretty obvious that all the “tightness” was just a cover  for what was underneath… fear, vulnerability, not knowing, feeling stupid, feeling like I had no control (which I don’t!)… a whole lot of bottled up emotion that I was doing my best to hold back.

Resistance was keeping me from enjoying my family, admiring my kids, being creative, and realizing my wealth potential. 

First step? Let it all out. Remove the resistance and let the flood gates open. And I did. I cleared the space with a good, deep cry. And, after that? Appreciation,  new ideas, renewed confidence, and a softer me. 

I don’t have any more money in my bank account (yet) but I sure feel the abundance of my life again.

A good cry. I think I’ll have to put it in my calendar on a regular basis. Cry me a river, baby!

Finer Things by Steve Winwood