Letting Life Flow Through You

Eckhart Tolle, one of my favorite buddhas, reminds us that there are no PROBLEMS… only SITUATIONS.

We humans are so attuned to “what’s wrong” and “what needs to be fixed” that we forget we can choose a different perspective. Easy to see a lack of money as a problem. Easy to see a flat tire as a problem. Easy to see a plummeting economy as a problem.

But when we reframe  the “problem” into a “situation”, right action is called in naturally and we’re back in the natural flow of life.

What financial “problem” can you change into a “situation” today? And what action is being called for?

Let me know!

You know how we think that one little grain of sand ‘probably’ isn’t important in the whole scheme of things?

Well, what about a paper towel? Is there value in one paper towel? Will it really make a difference in our overall financial situation if you choose to use paper towels for things like drying a dishes or drying your hands after washing them?

The Value of a Paper Towel

OF COURSE IT DOES! And here’s why…

We constantly forget that the little things MAKE UP the big things. So, let’s look at this in terms of a lowly paper towel…

You can go to Costo and buy a roll of Bounty paper towels for $1.91. If you add a little sales tax and divide by the 52 sheets that are in the roll, you get about 4 cents per sheet. Doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to have to worry about one 4 cent sheet of paper towel.

But the problem is that it ISN’T just one sheet…it’s the HABIT of THINKING it’s OK to use paper towels for things you COULD be using a towel for. And don’t even get me started on the germ thing. Studies are showing that we are such germaphobes now that our children aren’t being exposed to the germs they NEED to develop antibodies when they’re young. But I digress…

Let’s say that you wash your hands 10 times a day. That’s 10 sheets.

Let’s say at least one other person in your household also have this same habit (perhaps they learned it by watching you)…so that’s another 10 sheets.

Let’s say you dry a few dishes and use a few sheets to clean up a spill (that could have been cleaned up with a rag that can be washed and reused) so let’s add 5 more sheets.

Total for one day could be as much as 25 sheet. If there’s 52 sheets in the rolls you buy, you’d use one roll of paper towels every 2-3 days!!!

At $2.07, conservatively, if you have a ‘paper towel’ habit, you might go through 8 rolls a month which is about $16.50!

So I want you to see that your little 4 cent ‘habit’ adds up to a nice little $16.50 chuck of hard earned cash (if you are still trading your time and energy for money in a job).

So back to the initial pondering…what IS the value of a paper towel? Well, like everything else, it requires looking at the long-term value, also called The Time Value of Money with a little interest tacked on.

If you invested, rather than wasted, that $16.50 each month in an investment that returned an average of 6% starting at age 25, at age 60 you would have $23,721.27!

Now THAT’S a lot of paper towels, or anything else you might need when you’re 60.

It’s all in our habits. Our little habits result in our big result, i.e., our life. Watch out for the habits that are eating up your future retirement money.

So…go out an buy some rags already or rip up a few old t-shirts!

Just something to think about…

Do it for Love!

More often than not, our money situation dictates how much space we have for love.

Ever notice that, when you have enough money in the bank and all your bills are paid, you are happy and available for connection? On the flip side, when we have unmet financial obligations, we are likely to feel tight, uneasy, irritated, distracted ~ trapped in a very small world. When the walls start closing in, we have little time or attention for anything outside that which we absolutely need. We are in survival mode. Fight or flight.

I’m here to tell you ~ by facing your finances and taking care of your bottom line, you’ll have more space for love in your life. Guaranteed.

Free Fall from Shame

Most of us have wounds (unresolved feelings, situations, issues) from our past that rise up within us at one time or another, usually without warning. Whether we allow them to actually surface and move through us is a choice that can require a certain amount of courage.

When Pain comes knocking at our door (the door to freedom, to peace, love, expression ~ you name it), it’s Surrender that eventually opens it. Surrender, however, is not always available.

It’s that metaphor of hanging on to the edge of a cliff and figuring out how to let go. It’s holding the burning coal in your hand and figuring out how to drop it. We hang on for dear life (or the life of our Ego as it were) or hold on to that coal as if it’s keeping us alive. Try as we might to figure out HOW to let go, it seems impossible. We might think “if I could just figure out how to surrender, I would”.

When surrender does not seem possible or even fathomable, I look, instead, to see what might be standing in its way. Shame is often the culprit.

Many of the situations that create pain (or internal struggle) in my life are held intact because I am too ashamed to admit something. I judge myself as selfish or small and fear that others will judge me in the same way so I keep it to myself. To open my mouth and possibly bring in hard-to-be-with feelings feels as impossible as holding a burning coal in my hand. Or maybe it IS the burning coal.

What I know is that, when I admit something that I am ashamed of, regardless of the reaction it may engender in another, I am magically released from its grip. I am in a position to move forward, to step from the place I am, to be in a NEW place ~ even if I am then needing to face a reaction or be with a new set of circumstances. I find that I am no longer experiencing the sensation of holding on for dear life, no longer feeling the burning in my hand (in my heart).  The circumstances that called in the pain from so long ago has now changed and I am living in possibility once again.

Just as gravity holds our bodies together, holds this PLANET together, Shame holds my activating circumstances together ~ actually fuels them into living on longer than they actually existed. Shame is the gravity!

The amazing part of this: moving past the shame IS the surrender. It’s the movement that opens up my heart and lets the feelings move through me instead of sticking. It doesn’t matter what the shame has to do with ~ money, love, sex, parenting ~ the admission alone puts me back into reality. No longer am I hanging from the cliff. I’m free-falling. And with it comes  relief and renewal and, sometimes, even a re-patterning of an old way of being.

You might say I’m Defying Gravity!

How do you calculate abundance?

Treat others as you would have them treat you.

Give that which you would like to receive.

Receive that which you have already given.

Return that which you have not earned.

Refuse that which is given if you have not done enough to deserve it.

Commandments from the Bible of Debt Consciousness. A little slippery, don’t you think?

If I GET REAL with how I’m showing up these days, I have to admit that I keep tabs on my life ~ I make sure that I don’t take more than I give. Exhausting? You bet. A barrier to receiving money? Uh-huh. And you know why? Because the energy I generate in one area of my life infiltrates every other part of my life.

Example: My husband offers to massage my shoulders. I say “Oh, no, that’s okay… I’ll be fine” because I haven’t been very nice lately OR because I don’t have the energy to reciprocate. Seems reasonable to me. Just making sure that I’m living in balance.

Not so. I THINK I’m equalizing the giving and receiving, but what I’m really doing is shutting the whole process down entirely. I end up living in a tit-for-tat world where I allow things (love, attention, gifts, and MONEY) into my life by MY arbitrary choice, dictated by whatever ideas I have about self worth and deserved-ness. How limiting and controlling! Audacious, really!

The same energy that has me deny my husband’s offer impacts every other offer that comes in. Based upon my limited view, I allow only that which I can give back or reciprocate. That leaves me with a zero balance. Equal ~ to NOTHING. How can I ever have more? More love, more fun, more money?

Abundance has no end, has no limits, and can’t be measured on a scale. Keeping tabs might work in the restaurant business but it no place in MY business.

Time to stop the tally. Care to join me?

Any time you feel good about money, you feel good about the rest of your life too! Don’t even TRY to argue out of this one. And don’t take my word for it, either, just look at your own situation.

Here’s the thing: when we ignore, avoid, hide, or pretend when it comes to money, we are walking around IN THAT ENERGY no matter how small the integrity infraction may be. It seeps into other aspects of our lives and takes away from the WHOLE of who we are. Fine if you don’t mind being only partially available for fun, opportunity, and connection. But I want more for myself AND for you!

This is why I tell my clients to start their days by looking in the mirror AND at their bank accounts. It’s a metaphorical structure to make sure you’re ALL THERE before starting your day. Brush your hair, pinch your cheeks, and take care of one thing that will have you feel good about your money.

Make that charitable contribution, put $10 in your “play” account, choose not to buy your super-sized chai latte this morning, pack a lunch, have that conversation with your husband, research something you’ve been wondering about… it doesn’t take a big transformation to make a difference. It’s really about taking one little step!

When you’ve given yourself the gift of looking in the financial mirror, you give the world the gift of your presence. You show up available for YOUR life and all that’s possible. What else are you here for? And what are you waiting for?

Wait ~ don’t answer that… just look in the mirror AND at your bank account. Now, do that one thing you can do today. Just that one. And let me know how you feel!

Money is one of those things in life that you can actually take at face value. You can trust it to be exactly what it says it is ~ every single time! There is no gray area, no pretending, no illusion. It is what it is.

A dollar is a dollar no matter the circumstance or emotional state you’re in. If you have $150 in your wallet, THAT is how much you can spend. You can’t squeeze another dollar out of a twenty. You can’t wish a dime into becoming a quarter. Money shows up for you exactly as-is every time.

The only problem with money is US. Many of us enter into money relationships with mistrust, misunderstanding, and fear. We attach unproductive thoughts, feelings, and perspectives onto money. “I hate money.” “I don’t have enough money.” “I can’t figure out money.” “I can’t keep track of money.” “Money makes me crazy.”

Money is just money. It doesn’t DO anything or BE any certain way. How exciting! We don’t have to guess, hope, interpret or wonder about money. Money is something we actually have influence over. We can manipulate it, move it around, give it away ~ anything we want. And it still shows up as money.

I, personally, spent too many years believing that I couldn’t understand money; money was a problem I would never solve. But when I started to see money for what it is instead of what it isn’t, I started to feel my feet on the ground for the first time. I stopped wishing that money would somehow change and I started to change myself instead.Walking up a mountain is a lot easier when you feel the earth under your feet!

Money is solid. It’s real. You can count on it. Only every time.

In years past I’ve allowed myself a good amount of cynicism around the so-called “Hallmark” holidays. Mother’s Day is one of the “big” ones.

When I became a mom, I also became righteous in my stance against receiving chocolates, flowers, and especially a brunch that cost more on that day than any other day. I refused to let the trance of “buying things to prove love” penetrate my household. After all, having a child was more than enough for me. Well, I just got real.

I looked in the metaphorical mirror this morning and saw that, underneath my cynical exterior, was a thread of unworthiness. An age-old story that I don’t deserve that kind of special attention, that kind of extravagant spending. Oh sure, we can all rally behind the shared truth that material things do not equal appreciation and love, but it’s just that kind of covert belief that gets in the way of being available for abundance. There’s an indiscriminate energy in there that keeps broadcasting the message “more is not welcome here”.

Well, I think it’s time to give up that story and let the celebration begin. Time to let those who love me make their own choices about how they want to express their appreciation. Time for me to open my heart and mind and accept all that comes my way, be it on Mother’s Day or any other day.

Alison Armstrong told me that a true Queen knows how to receive. Receive love, gifts, time, money, compliments… all of it.

So, to all you Queen-moms out there ~ let it all in! With a grace-filled “thank you!”

Happy Mother’s Day! (especially to you, Mom!)

Appreciation.

Walking on the beach with one of my girlfriends this morning, we talked about one of the most human of conditions ~ postponing happiness for “that day” when…

…I have the right job. When I make enough money. When I live where I want. When I meet the right person. When my kids are grown. Blah, blah, blah.

What about right now? What about today? We can spend so much time thinking about all the things we need to be, do, fix, or accumulate that we can’t see where we are.

Getting Real with Your Finances helps you appreciate the here and now. Has you focus on what you have, not what you don’t. Gives you a piece of solid ground to stand on AND step from. Every time you acknowledge where you are, you get a glimpse of where you can go.

Right Now is really all we have. Yes, we can plan for the future ~ but not at the expense of enjoying the day we’re in.

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow never comes. Someday is now.

Getting Real gets you HERE!

And when you’re here, you’ll be happy.

Don’t take my word for it. Try it for yourself.